Under pressure

I grew up in a blue-collar city in central Connecticut whose biggest claim to fame is "Ted's Steamed Cheeseburgers," a burger joint that was recently featured on "Man vs. Food." From my senior class, I was one of a handful of students who went to college out of state; by sophomore year, most of those said students transferred to a Connecticut state school. The rest of my class that didn't even bother to attend college either got pregnant or got into drugs or in some cases, are currently trying to launch rap careers. The only school-related activity that generated much interest was football; most of the other student sports teams and clubs were met with empty bleachers and low participation. My guidance counselor encouraged me to go to UConn (his alma mater) because it was affordable, with little direction as to what else was available to me. An unusually large majority (I've heard 70 percent) of the teaching staff grew up in Meriden. My favorite teacher, the one who used to always joke about how bad things were, later quit her job and moved to London. A year later, she returned to my high school.

The reason I'm writing this is because I had always prided myself on my ambition. Don't misunderstand me, I know that Meriden, Conn. isn't the ghetto; a lot of other college students had much more difficult experiences growing up. (I couldn't imagine attending a high school that even had metal detectors.) However, it was far from the kind of nurturing environment that pushed you toward anything. Everyone is just so comfortable with the status quo, nothing ever gets accomplished. This was not the type of high school where even the "smart kids" did much. The valedictorian didn't get into the Ivy League; she went to UConn. It's hard coming back during the holidays because you can't really catch up with people who haven't done much growing up. There's nothing to "catch up" about. This is why I love college so much. There are so many people who are DOING something. People who are adding to the conversation. People with ambition. People who want a better life for themselves.

This is something that I grapple with as I try and find a job because my biggest fear is that I will end up just like every one of my former classmates.

I don't want that to happen.